From bad to worse.

Ok, it's been a couple days. I have reasons for that, unfortunately I can't really talk about what's going on. The main thing is, bad things are happening. BAD THINGS. Life altering, earth shattering bad things. And as a result, Ky and his family are looking like they're about to go into HUGE amounts of debt. Huge amounts of debt being. No internet. For the unforseeable future. Losing the house and having to move in with their grandparents. Having nothing, being stuck in thousands upon thousands of dollars of unavoidable debt, yes, this debt is completely unavoidable, for reasons I'm not at liberty to disclose.

I'm half crazy-sick with worry. And not because I won't hear my baby's voice for a long long time if all this comes to pass. I'm crazy-sick with worry for him, and the family, that they have to go through this terrible traumatic time. That I can't BE there for them, and because I can't find a job I can hardly help in any productive way apart from moral support.

Hello renewed resolve. I've sent out seven more resumes in the last 2 hours, and I'm praying to the heavens I hear something back soon, because this is all driving me insane. November is a now broken dream, I won't see my fiance until I can get the money to go out there, him coming here is out of the question and I made it that way. he needs every cent he can scratch together for himself and his family. That's the way it has to be.

For anyone shaking their head right now and thinking this is so terribly selfless, etc etc which I've heard a couple of times already since I started talking about all of this to people. What you all call selfless, I call the right thing. This is the right thing that I'm doing, whether you think it selfless or not, I know I'm doing everything I can to help my loved ones in their time of need, and that's the way it should be, ESPECIALLY in an LDR. Because your options are so limited. Ok, so I can't send him packages or money or anything, but I can send him my support, my love, and the knowledge that i will always....always be here when he needs me, no matter what.

Like I said before, marvel at the things you can do people, you never know when they will be gone.

Enjoy your day.