Deep Breaths

Yup, double postage, because I can, and I have nothing else to do apart from watch my cat climb on things she shouldn't be climbing on.

After a mad hour of housework that's left me aching to my very core and thoroughly exhausted, I feel a little less stressed, but at the same time a lot clearer minded. I've already accepted that everything I'm fearing will come to pass, and that I have to be strong, and tackle it head on with every fibre of my being, otherwise the relationship that forms the very core of my life, that I work at every single day to be as perfect as it possibly can be, will fail, and I will fail along with it. Put very simply, sounding melodramatic and all, but deadly serious, I won't survive this relationship's end, this is my life, and my soul, Kyle is my life and soul.

So I'm going to be looking for any and every job I can possibly find, I don't care what it is as long as it pays, I'll work three jobs if I have to/can find that kind of work. I have to be able to take care of my man at this time of trial in our lives. Everything I've been through in life so far has just been a build up to this, testing my mettle so to speak. I don't believe in God, but I believe stuff happens for reasons we can't comprehend at the time. And I know, without a doubt, that Kyle is the reason for my whole existence, and that I will be nothing without him, and it's down to me to make sure I can keep as strong for him as possible, while he does the same for me. And if I have to be strong enough for the both of us, so be it, I'll understand.

Enjoy your day